Anxiety: How our natural defense became an everyday battle

Have you ever felt that uneasy feeling in your chest, like something is wrong, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? Maybe your heart starts racing when you think about tomorrow, or perhaps your mind won’t stop spinning no matter how hard you try to calm down.

This is what we call anxiety. Most of us have experienced it at one time or another, an invisible force that sometimes feels like it's holding us back or chasing us down.

In this article, we will dive in and get to know this complex, often misunderstood companion a little better, understanding what it really is, when it tends to make itself known and why it shows up in our lives, hopefully, it becomes easier to manage.

Anxiety isn’t just an unwelcome guest; it’s actually a part of us, designed to protect us in ways we might not always recognise.

Let’s go back to some years ago when you were very little, when anxiety was almost always a good thing, which will help you look at anxiety in a different way, hopefully with less fury.

Do you remember when you were a little baby and sometimes stretched or jerked your hands and legs quickly? You probably don’t remember it, but this is known as the Moro Reflex. It’s something you might have seen in babies: a sudden movement in response to a feeling of falling or a loud noise. This reflex is a primitive protective mechanism, a way the brain automatically alerts you and tries to keep you safe from harm.

Similarly, think back to when you first learned to ride a bike. Do you remember feeling that rush of anxiety, the fear of falling, and how quickly you would put your legs down to stop yourself from hitting the ground? We know it wasn’t always quick enough, and those moments could be scary! This anxiety you felt is connected to that same basic instinct, an automatic reflex to protect yourself from harm.

As you practised more, that initial fear lessened, and your brain adapted, learning how to balance and control the bike without needing that immediate, anxious reaction.

These examples highlight how the brain is wired to protect us. The Moro reflex in babies and the anxiety felt while learning to ride a bike. The amygdala, the part of our brain mainly responsible for these reactions, constantly works to keep us safe. When a person feels stressed or afraid, the amygdala releases stress hormones that prepare the body to fight the threat or flee from danger.

When we feel in danger or vulnerable, as if we might be hurt, physically or emotionally, we usually don’t need to sit down and make a plan to avoid getting hurt. Our mind and body do it automatically. As we grow and experience more in life, our mind constantly adapts to keep us safe.

However, when the amygdala becomes overactive, like a fire alarm that senses any small smell of smoke, it can lead to anxiety disorders. The brain gets stuck in a protective mode, even when unnecessary, making us feel constant anxiety or worry even when there’s no real danger.

It is common to worry sometimes, but if you worry too much, it can feel exhausting and may affect your health. Psychologists call this Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and between 2 and 6 people out of every 100 experience it.

Let’s think about everyday experiences we can all relate to. Have you ever built a cupboard, created a painting, tried a new recipe, or prepared for a test? In those moments, every small detail mattered. The decision-making, knowing what’s more important or less, revising and testing, going over things several times—these are all pretty tense moments. You hope for the best outcome, feel proud and happy afterwards, and of course, you hope for positive feedback.

These moments of tension and careful consideration happen every day. It’s part of being human! We all know the term anxiety, don’t we? Of course, we all have it. Yet, we are often scared of it, worried about it—anxious about anxiety itself!

But what if anxiety isn’t the enemy? What if it’s actually healthy, a natural human response? The reason we are alive, healthy, and functioning is partly thanks to our anxiety. Let’s try something fun—take a moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say: “Thank you, anxiety, you are helping me so much.” Really, in what way? You might ask. That's a good question.

Now, let’s be serious for a moment and think. Everyone experiences anxiety because we are human, right? The reason we are alive and aware of what’s good or bad, safe or unsafe, most of the time, is because, from when we were very small, the way we learned and the way our mind and body recorded and interpreted the world around us often involved a touch of anxiety.

If this idea is new to you, think of it this way: When you cross a road, how do you know it’s safe? Anxiety helps with that. In other words, we have a built-in warning system, an innate way of dealing with potentially dangerous situations. Anxiety, often regarded as the fight-or-flight response, is what protects us.

So far, this sounds pretty understandable. But this is not the anxiety you might think of, right? Correct, this is not the anxiety we usually refer to. And, of course, you wouldn’t see a therapist for this kind of anxiety! But actually, this is the anxiety we all talk about. You may not bring up examples like this in therapy, but it still relates to that instinct or automatic safety setting.

It’s important to recognise that anxiety isn't an enemy, but a natural part of being human. By understanding what triggers anxiety—whether it’s something from the past or a recent event—it becomes easier to manage. The human brain has many powerful automatic skills, including the instinct to protect. Yet it can also adapt and change these responses, especially when they no longer fit.

We hope that by now, your relationship with anxiety is a bit different. This very thing you might have seen as your enemy, this monster chasing after you, is, in fact, your protector. It keeps you safe, or at least tries to, most of the time.
So why do we sometimes feel it keeps us from functioning well, or holds us back from growing and succeeding in life? Why does this very thing, meant to protect us, cause so much pain and worry? That’s a good question, and sometimes a really worrying concern!

Right now, think about anxiety again. Ask yourself: What is anxiety, when do you have anxiety, and why do you experience it? Take your time to reflect!

When your safety settings, your anxiety, are very busy protecting you because so much has happened to you, it sometimes becomes the centre of attention in your mind. It works so hard all the time, constantly telling you that you are vulnerable and that it has to take care of you.

It is no longer about the actual problems affecting you right now, as shown in the examples above. It makes you worry about hypothetical things that might happen or affect you but aren't affecting you right now.

The main symptoms of generalised anxiety disorder are excessive worry. You may feel nervous, unable to relax or sleep, easily irritated, fatigued or unable to control your worries. These symptoms can be categorised into thoughts, feelings and behaviours. For example, your thought is “I fear being worried all the time”, so you feel “nervous and tense” and act by “over-planning and over-preparing”.

One of the very important first steps is to learn and understand what anxiety is and why we experience it in the first place. We can think about anxiety by looking at its initial purpose, the anxiety that was there once upon a time to protect us. Sometimes, not-so-good things happen to us, or people hurt us, and we go into protection mode, becoming anxious about many things for long periods.

Once we acknowledge this, we can then become almost like close friends with anxiety. We can even give it a pat on the back, saying something like, "Oh, here you are! Of course, you’re trying to protect me now." And we can tell this friend called anxiety, "Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, but maybe it’s not the time now. This time, I think I can manage without your protection."

The goal is to allow other parts of the brain to play their roles effectively, and one of the first steps is understanding what anxiety is and why it’s there. Acknowledging anxiety as a natural, though sometimes overly protective, part of life can help in managing it better.

Instead of seeing it as a constant threat, you can view it as a friend with good intentions—one that sometimes needs to step back.

One of the things that people often talk about in therapy is the intolerance of uncertainty, which is thought to keep anxiety going. Life is uncertain, and we can never be 100% sure of what will happen next. How do you feel about this?
Some people embrace uncertainty and find it easy to welcome new experiences, like acting spontaneously, being in new places or doing things they’ve never done before. For others, uncertainty is difficult to handle. They may rely on logic when the outcome is unclear, but even a little uncertainty can make them feel very uncomfortable. It can feel stressful, and they may avoid anything outside their comfort zone and routine.

This can be tricky because uncertainty is a normal part of life—it’s not something we can avoid. If you experience anxiety, you might use strategies to try to reduce uncertainty and feel more in control. Such as asking yourself "what if" questions, thinking too many steps ahead, gathering as much information as possible, or planning everything in detail. Some people check and re-check things over and over again or seek lots of reassurance from those around them.

While these strategies might reduce uncertainty in the short term, they don’t help in the long term. You’re not overcoming your anxiety, just managing it for the moment. Learning to tolerate uncertainty is key, as it’s impossible to eliminate it entirely from life.

Seeking a little help is not a sign of weakness. Many times, it is about learning who we are as humans and why we are who we are as unique individuals. Having a therapist to explore this together, like any other subject, is a great opportunity to become even greater experts on ourselves, better understand the wonder of the human brain and learn how to overcome anxiety when it is not needed anymore.